New seasons

It’s hard to believe we’ve come to the end of September already. I guess with the unseasonable heat and vivid blue sky it would be easier to believe we were approaching August rather than rapidly approaching October.  It’s only the leaves carpeting the ground and the misty autumn mornings that give the real season away.

Since finishing my re-write of The Workers, my attention has turned to Katya and I must say it’s difficult to engage myself with it at the moment. I don’t know, perhaps I’m distracted by the sunshine, I know I always write better in the dark.

To keep Katya in line with the new look of the first novel, I think there will have to be quite a lot of re-writing so I really need to find the will to go through Katya with the same fine toothed comb. I know it’ll be worth the hard work so I’ll keep you posted.

 

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And relax …

So I finally put the final touches to the first person edit of Véradó – The Workers (see page on the right.)

Months ago the suggestion was made that the story might be better told from the first person point of view as it would add a certain depth that it perhaps lacked at the time.

I won’t deny that it’s been a pretty hard slog and I’ve not managed a single pov as the story has to be told from several different angles so it’s now in multi pov.

I’m really pleased with the way it’s turned out though, it reads so much better now and the characters seem to have been brought to life so I feel they were a few month’s well spent.

Major Point of View Change.

I know it’s been a while since I posted, but I’ve been busy giving Véradó – The Workers a major overhaul. I am currently working on changing the third person point of view into first person. Slightly easier said than done, as this novel is not from just one characters perspective. I think it will have to be told from three characters pov’s as there doesn’t seem to be any other way around it, other than to leave it in the third person.  My reason for attempting this drastic change is that it had been suggested that my characters were too distant from the story and to really get to know them would be to become them, so that’s what I’ve been attempting to do.

Okay so here is an example of before:

As she spoke, the tall dark haired man advanced across the courtyard towards them. He moved quickly, his long dark hair billowed behind him with the momentum of his pace. He kept his eyes firmly fixed on this stranger who’d infiltrated his clandestine organisation. Nicole was unnerved by his staunch approach. His frame was muscular and foreboding, she felt threatened, there was nothing subtle about him. His expression was cast defensively as he continued to glare at this stranger. Nicole held her breath as he approached.

“Anna… you haven’t introduced us.” His voice was deep but more gentle than Nicole had anticipated, his accent was beautiful; it sounded somewhat local, Mediterranean at the very least, and he spoke with urgency, so as not to give Nicole a chance to walk away.

“I was about to…” Anna gestured towards her friend, “This is Nicole. She came out here several weeks ago and we’ve been spending a lot of time together.” His eyes narrowed as he heeded the state of Anna, he reached out and brushed the wound on her face with the back of his hand. “Who did this to you?” he seethed. Anna didn’t respond, she turned to Nicole, a weak smile clinging to her lips. She held Nicole’s hand in an attempt to comfort her in the presence of such an immensely intimidating character.

“This is Marshall.” Her eyes flickered up towards him as she spoke his name.

And after:

As Anna spoke, my eyes were drawn towards the tall dark haired man, as he began to advance across the courtyard towards us. He moved quickly, his long dark hair billowing behind him with the momentum of his pace. I can’t say what it was about him that ripped through me but I couldn’t take my eyes off him, and he kept his eyes firmly fixed on me. I guess he saw me as a threat, a stranger who’d infiltrated his clandestine organisation. His frame was muscular and foreboding, I can’t deny that felt threatened; there was nothing subtle about him. His expression was cast defensively as he continued to glare at me and I held my breath as he approached.

“Anna… you haven’t introduced us.” His voice was deep but more gentle than I would have anticipated, his accent was beautiful; it sounded local, Mediterranean at the very least, and he spoke with urgency, so as not to give me a chance to walk away.

“I was about to…” Anna gestured towards me, “This is my friend, Nicole. She came out here several weeks ago and we’ve been spending a lot of time together.” Anna smiled as she spoke, but I could tell it was purely for my benefit. The man’s eyes narrowed as he heeded the state of Anna, he reached out and brushed the wound on her face with the back of his hand.

“Who did this to you?” he seethed. Anna didn’t respond, she turned to me; the weak smile clinging to her lips. She held my hand in an attempt to comfort me in the presence of such an immensely intimidating character.

“This is Marshall.” Her eyes flickered up towards him as she spoke his name.

Better?

Bumping Up the Word Count.

So I’m making a real effort to continue to work on my first Véradó novel this month (see right).  The brutal editing that ‘The Workers’ has undergone, has stripped nearly 15,000 words out, and that’s word count that I can’t afford to lose.

I had a bit of a dilemma of how to bump it back up again, after all, the story’s been told.  I don’t feel the need to add scenes or over dramatise what’s already been written for the sake of my word count, it would feel like I’m cheating the reader.  So I’ve opted for more dialogue between characters.  While I go through the latest draft it has become apparent to me that my characters have so much more to say than I’d previously allowed them.  This is proving fun – and who knew editing could actually be fun. So I’m back into my schizophrenic zone out, where my characters are constantly chattering away to each other inside my head … is there any medication I should be taking for that?

Editing again …

Once again I’ve been hard at work editing my vampire novel Verado – The Workers, so I’ve not had much time to add to my blog, therefore I thought I would share a piece from the preface with you, hope you like it:

Véradó

The Workers

As the motorbikes pulled up outside the huge oak gates, they simultaneously shut off their engines, shocking the dark dusty road into silence. Displayed above the gates, a large wooden sign with the words Zeus Xenia burnt into it welcomed the three men home. They dismounted their bikes and were greeted by a small group of people who’d gathered outside eagerly awaiting their return.

Smeared with a mixture of blood and dirt, and with satisfaction ardently displayed on their faces they made their way inside. Their evening’s work was done. Once again order had been restored to the chaotic town they’d adopted as their home, and for the moment their ongoing debt to the island had been repaid. Now it was time for recompense. They thirsted, and these devoted disciples were keen to be the ones to sustain them.

Once inside the ancient courtyard they continued up to the weathered oak bar. Strings of lights shimmered on the breeze and the air held the subtle fragrance of the ocean situated just meters away. The bartender glanced up as they took their places. He greeted them with a warm smile and poured their preferred bourbon into the glasses that awaited them.

From the far side of the courtyard a woman approached them.  A snug black dress caressed every inch of her body and complimented her elegant dark features. As she homed on her target her lips curved subtly into a smile.

“Marshall, my darling … I missed you,” her undiluted Spanish accent chimed in his ears. She sided up to the vampire, her glossy chestnut hair scooped up into a sleek bun leaving her slender bronzed neck exposed and vulnerable. Marshall slid his hands down her arms and pulled her closely towards him, breathing in her warm aroma. It was not her fragrant perfume that enticed him but the scent of her blood that swept through his mind.

“Bonita…” he whispered as he leaned down brushing the hollow of her neck with his cool hungry lips, “I missed you too.”